A SMART WOMAN’S GUIDE TO LIVING ALONE

Why am I writing this SMART Woman’s Guide to Living Alone?

I’ve been single my entire adult life, but I haven’t always been alone. Before I adopted my sons, I sometimes shared the house or apartment I was living in with a roommate. My sons came into my life when I was 27 and they lived with me off and on even after they became adults, so my time alone has been sporadic. My parents were always there for me when I needed them and I spent the last few years of their lives living with them and helping them as they aged. Now that they are gone and my sons have their own lives, I feel truly alone for the first time in my life. It’s not altogether a bad thing, I’m an introvert and I enjoy my own company, but it does have some down sides.

Losing someone often also means losing a support system. My brother and nephews have all moved away from this area now. I moved away from the community I lived in when I took on the role of caregiver for my parents. As a result, I lost touch with the network of neighbors and friends I had. The reality of my situation hit me hard when I had a health issue and needed outpatient surgery. My sons were both out of the state with their work and my DILs were tied down with their own children. Fortunately, my brother and SIL invited me to stay with them before and after my surgery, but I have to admit that it was still one of the most lonely times of my life. It made me realize that I needed to pull myself together and plan my future as single woman alone. It also occurred to me that there were so many women I knew who were also facing life alone for various reasons including death of a spouse, divorce, loss of parents, or children growing up and leaving home. Some choose not to live alone and move in with family members, or quickly seek out new relationships. Many, like me, choose to be independent.

I am writing this guide for myself and it outlines the things I want to do to get a handle on my life. I’m sharing it in the hopes that it may also benefit others in similar circumstances. I know there are guys out there, as well, that are facing life alone as they age. If you are a guy, keep in mind this guide is written from a woman’s perspective which is much different than most men’s. As I add information to each topic, I will add links on this page to posts regarding those topics. My goal is to self-publish this guide when it is complete.

Embrace Independence

Strengthen Your Support Network

Stay in Touch
Nurture New Friendships
Get Involved with Community Activities
Be Active in Religious and/or Social Organizations

Pursue Healthy Relationships

Know Your Own Worth
Have Realistic Expectations
Understand the Pros and Cons of Online Dating
Consider Alternatives to Online Dating
Stay Safe

Master Basic Financial Planning

Assess your Assets
Set Financial Goals
Master Budgeting
Set Up an Emergency Fund
Evaluate Your Insurance Plans
Make Smart Investments
Develop an Estate Plan
Learn a Side Hustle
Understand Social Security and Medicare

Maximize Your Physical Health

Keep a Daily Health Log
Give Someone You Trust Power of Attorney
Prepare an Advanced Directive
Keep Medical Appointments
Improve Your Eating Habits
Get More Exercise
Become Informed about Telehealth, Urgi Care and Emergency Room Services
Avoid Internet Health Gurus

Nurture Emotional Well-being

Find Healthy Ways to Manage Grief
Identify Hidden Sources of Grief
Reduce Stress and Anxiety
Seek Counseling if You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

Minimize Your Limitations

Build a List of Reliable Service Providers
Decide if You Need to Downsize
Prepare Your Home for Senior Living
Ask for Help When You Need It
Learn How to Negotiate, Barter and Trade

Protect Yourself and Your Assets

Install an Affordable Home Security/Monitoring System
Maintain Smoke Detectors and Carbon Monoxide Monitors
Consider the Benefits of Owning a Dog
Set Up a Daily Check-in with Someone
Learn Self-Defense Tactics
Look into the Benefits of Smart Watches or Help Alert Devices
Maintain Your Vehicle and Have a Roadside Assistance Plan
Build Relationships with Neighbors You Trust

Establish Clear Boundaries

Practice the Art of Saying No
Make Informed Decisions for Yourself
Be Assertive
Guard Your Information
Communicate Clearly

Discover the Beauty of Letting Go

Let Go of Bitterness
Let Go of Guilt/Regret
Let Go of Possessions that Are Weighing You Down
Let Go of Fear

Create a Bucket List

Places to Go
Adventures You Seek
Foods You’ve Never Tried
Attainable Achievements You Haven’t Yet Reached

Leave a Legacy

Organize and Share Family Photos
Write a Brief Memoir of Your Life or Biography of a Beloved Family Member
Document Your Family History
Pen a Letter to Future Generations
Create a Family Heirloom (ex: a quilt, a piece of furniture, a work of art, a recipe book)

Live in the Moment

Count Your Blessings
Accept That Life Will Always Have Ups and Downs
Believe in Yourself
Practice Contentment